Conrado de Quiros’ article last Tuesday entitled “Not a Small Triumph” was surprisingly different. It wasn’t about politics or justice or the war in the Middle East or some huge problem confronting the country. It was about a topic very close to my heart, or should I say, close to my lungs. The article was about surviving asthma. Mr. de Quiros had asthma when he was young and he had this to say about the “benefit” of this illness:
“Asthma drove me to introspection, compelling me to deal with the wonder and awe of that human phenomenon called breath”.
Asthma drove me to introspection as well. During the first week of 2006, I had a serious asthma attack. My year started with three visits to the hospital, one visit to a clinic, a nebulizer on my nose, and the inhaler as my best friend. Mr. de Quiros aptly described asthma attacks, “Asthma gives you the sensation of drowning…in dry land”.
I was so afraid then, but in retrospect I think that asthma attack was a blessing. It made me rethink the way I live my life. You see, for the most part of 2005 I was so passive and sedentary. My good friend Aloy have always teased me “Eloy, wala kang kwentang tao.” Only during that asthma attack did I realize she may have a point. In 2005, I was just in the “waiting place”.
“A Waiting Place for people just waiting…waiting for the mail to come, or the rain to go,or the phone to ring, or the snow to snowor waiting around for a Yes or No”.–From Dr. Seuss’ Oh the Places you’ll Go
I was just waiting for things to happen to me. I was just waiting for projects to come, for people to send me to other places. While waiting for things to happen, I took naps and watched TV, these became my favorite activities. But the asthma attack made realize that anytime I could breathe my last breath. Thus, on the third night of struggling for breath, I prayed hard. I said to the Almighty, “Please make me well and I promise that this year I will change the way I live my life. I will explore the world you created, I will travel. I will meet the wonderful people on earth. I will take care of my body. I will live my life to the fullest.” The next day, I was breathing normally. So now, I’m keeping my side of the bargain.
A few weeks after the asthma attack, I went to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam. A few months later, I agreed to do a volunteer work in Masbate even though it entailed taking a nine-hour bus trip, a two-hour ferry ride and another two-hour small boat ride. I then went to El Nido in Palawan and Singapore, two places that I’ve been longing to go to for years but never really took the effort to pack and leave.
I am also taking care of my body now and will never allow it to be sedentary again. I enrolled in a gym and go there regularly, even though my friends call me a “gym rat” now. I enjoy attending a group exercise called Body Balance, a one-hour class that combines yoga, tai-chi and pilates. I especially love the last ten minutes of the class where we just focus on our breathing. I love the part where our class instructor James says soothing words as he guides us through our breathing exercise:
“Breathing is the most taken for granted task because it is always there. Now welcome your breath…embrace it. Let it fulfill you…let it flow freely. Breathe deeply… alternately feel empty and full. Feel your breath as it fills your whole body… and your whole being.”
I love this breathing exercise because I have experienced “drowning in dry land”. I know how it feels to be deprived of air so now I treasure this phenomenon of air freely flowing in and out of my body everyday.
I never had asthma attack since January and I wish it would never come back.
